Today’s tale, like any good fable, has a clear moral message to do with pride, cheese and the dangers fabric outfitting. The difference of course, is that instead of being told using cute anthropomorphized animals this story is told using smelly anthropomorphized kayakers.

In some mountains, quite far from here, some kayakers had gone a paddle. Around about lunch, they stopped for a munch and one Gunter did giggle. He said: “Wouldn’t it be funny if I got Snape’s boat and hid this left over cheese? Oh, could you imagine Snape’s furious face, I bet he wouldn’t be pleased!”

So to Snape’s surprise when back on the river, he discovered a smell that made nostrils quiver. Half a Camembert smeared to his seat, left over remnants of what they couldn’t eat.

Then over the next days the rivers subsided but Gunter’s pride grew and grew. “How’s your boat smelling now?”, he’d ask aloud, to Snape quiet and subdued.

But little did grinning Gunter know, revenge was already planted.  Four days without rain, left under the suns flame, revenge was already hatching.

On the fifth day the waters rose and the paddlers all went a paddling. Gunter’s Karma was raised off the roof, and the smell that emanated led to some puke. For once again cheese was smeared to the seat, but now something was wriggling. Thousands of maggots were milling about, burrowed into the Jackson outfitting. Yes Jack’s pride was sinking.

The lesson: It is far easier to clean cheese off of plastic outfitting than fancy fabric hip pads.